Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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