Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
