Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
