woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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