can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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