I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
