I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
