I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Can I color on your dick again?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
