some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
