it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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