and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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