i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
