Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
