Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
