Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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