nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize