ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
