everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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