Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
