My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
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he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
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My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.