i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it