I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
God has nothing to do with this.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.