home. puking in laundry basket.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
