The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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