She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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