Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
And then my night got REAL pukey
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
