you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
