non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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