I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
