I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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