This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
