when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
