4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
