"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
