he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
