He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize