Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
