Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
this hospital has no fireball
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
