He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
