Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
