"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
