If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
