Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
