the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
