well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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