If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
