He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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