Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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