god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
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Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
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I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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