She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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