it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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