you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I think my moral compass just broke
Let the clothes fall where they may.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
