You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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