God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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