I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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