All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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