You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
