so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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