Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
