it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Randomize
