Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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