there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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