id be glad to
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
