I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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